I recently confessed on Instagram how I tend to think of myself as a successful person who listens to different podcasts daily. Today I was on “The School of Greatness” podcast which hosted the amazing Tony Gonzalez.
“Tony Gonzalez is a Pro Football Hall of Famer, retired All-Pro NFL Tight end, and father of four. He is currently an analyst on Fox NFL’s pregame show. During his career, he only missed two games and lost only two fumbles on 1,327 touches.”

Well, as much as there was as much to take from the podcast, I got more captivated with the discussion on FEAR. Tony was very open on what it took to up-level his career, relationship and success. He talked on how his career changed since he changed his routine (that’s for another blog) but most of all, how “Life takes off at the other side of fear.”

“Life takes off at the other side of fear.”

Many years ago, fear of wild animals, the dark, being killed or fire formed part of people’s lives, but today we experience them differently. With the whole social media wave and how we now have more than 10000 people following our moves, we make fear get scarier and scarier. Although interestingly, we still fear the same, we cope with fears by screaming, hoping for some attention or drastically phoning our mothers.

Fear allows us to protect ourselves from events, people, animals or objects that can harm us. Fear provides us with a safe shelter that may last us forever.

We are all still facing the same type of fear differently. According to research, the reasons we face fear align with a person’s personality type, surrounding social environment and the probability of becoming impacted by a dreadful event. If you are a sensitive person (like me), you are expected to experience fear differently than non-sensitive individuals. Here, you may more likely scream when you notice a snake than other people or jump in the pool when the creepy spider passes you.

One also encounters controlled or uncontrolled fear that causes a person to cope with the feeling when it happens. Some people’s fear relates to more personal experiences, worries, or concerns in their immediate environment. Maybe you’re scared of tackling what you think can be your side hustle, perhaps you’re afraid of writing because what will they perceive your writing, or maybe you really want to try IGTV, but you’re scared of how your friends will find that so intriguing. The fear of failing plays a significant role in our society and everyone reacts differently.

Can you conquer your fear then?

I am a firm preacher of how you should ignore what other people think and concentrate on making your moves. If you asked me, I would tell you how this is never my problem, and I tend to ignore the criticism I face on the everyday life. Alas! I have been lying to myself. e.g It took me 1000+ courage to take these picture, more 1000+ courage to actually include them in a post.

David Schwartz once wrote: "All confidence is acquired, developed. No one is born with confidence. Those people you know who radiate confidence, who have conquered worry, have acquired their confidence, every bit of it."

I knew how this was a lie since I recently got hooked to this small application called STOIC originated from the Stoic philosophy. The Stoic Application is a mental health tracker. The App is the most straightforward explanation of realising what is facing you and how to conquer it in the most natural way that will make you happier. The App provides you with a daily companion for mood tracking, journaling, meditations, and reflection. It makes you go through a morning and evening routine to determine what develops your thoughts. Each time you log in the App you’re faced with a list of questions and actions to improve your thoughts, these may include:

  • How do you feel?
  • What is the main thing you’re struggling with on that particular day?
  • What is your focus for the day?
  • If you have troubles concentrating on your focus?
  • If today was your last day on Earth, would you still continue doing what you are concentrating on?
  • And it provides you with an exercise to work on, which ranges from the three activities to choose from, whether it’s journaling, mediation or fear setting.

Out of all three, I do enjoy fear setting, because, on most occasions, I realise that what I fear at that time does not have as much life or death consequences as it feels right away. Which made me realise that going through fear setting, such as naming the fear, defining worst-case scenarios that may happen when you try your concern, what you can do to prevent the consequences you have mentioned from happening, what you can do to repair if the consequences really happen and the benefits you may get while attempting your fear. This whole process of thinking all the possibilities out will make you realise how important it is for you to work on the fears you’re facing. Let us not let fear defeat our values.

This goes in parallel with the scientific phenomenon that fear presents much more than we think. Can you remember the time you jumped as high as the roof after you noticed a spider? The chemistry created in our brains during emotions of fear influences the manner our bodies react and cope with feeling scared or insecure. Medical practitioners recommend different treatments that allow people to deal with fear, anxiety, or emotional stress.

If you are an anxious, overly scared person, it is time to become more active, exercise these techniques of articulating your fear frequently, and increase your confidence levels. Remember that human characteristics include fear, and the phenomenon cannot disappear, but with help from a support base, it can become manageable and allow you to live a lesser fearful life.

Leave a comment